Whom ever it concerns:
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in your appartment and I saw you pull the clothes off Donald Duck. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I never liked a new life as a clone.
Greetings to your freaky family
Dear (Whatever Deviant You Want):
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.